No plans

Hi, it's been a while since i blogged about anything since there are a lot of things to do right now. It's good to know that i have opened up my time for at least this moment. As i were, there's really nothing to begin with. I had a lot of plans, but it seems like only a few worked for me. This has something to do with just showing up and doing whatever i can with the situation. Here i am, still wondering what maybe the reason for all the things that are not easily paying off. Will there be anything in store for me if i become more persistent in what i do? I don't know. I want answers, may it be bits and pieces or as a whole. If i look for it, there would be a big chance that only the tip of it is seen. Haha. I think it would be better if i just move along the way, i'd find what i'm looking for.

I would take every risk, every waking opportunity just to, smile and just have fun.

My life that has no map, now has its own way of telling its direction along the way.

When it rained, it was 4.

Today, it rains and the water pours over the roof of our house. I just come to know that i have been sleeping the longest hours since the week ended. Here comes a point in my life that i just stare out of nowhere and think about anything that has occurred to me. I mean anything. I felt that my heart skipped a beat a lot of times, i don't know if they're positive or negative to begin with. The feeling is there, yet there is no confirming of what is. I speak plainly about anything, which is hard. This has drawn me to think about it a couple of times. Thoughts are recurring, it feels like something that i have forgotten for a long time suddenly comes back in a flash. Vague, yes, they are. Me and my thoughts. It contradicts how the world raised me. A mixed tape playing at its wrong side. But there is one thing that is not blur in me, that is my determination to do whatever it takes no matter what. What gives me the will to be myself is the paradox of living in a sad world, yet i get to go around smiling like nothing is there to make me feel sad.

P.S.

This log, i just wanted to do things at little steps. Everyday, we learn and grow with the notion of not knowing what comes next.

This uncertain.

Going to a direction where you don't know where you're at, but probably certain what you're gonna be having. Feelings of positive and anything that makes your heart beat.