Eating and trying to see if there's any? I don't know.

We have no meaning, our definition comes from us. Looking back at what we've been through, it's us who writes ourselves a novel or two. Comedy or drama, you name it.


 People say it's beautiful, but it's a lie. What makes it even more beautiful, is that everything will start off to become a lie as soon as others made a vision of their own construct.



It is harder, but it is easier. That is the irony of things.

Both sides can't be of same symmetry, thus we shape our own.


It starts getting weirder and weirder, each time people say, "It's fine" or "It's normal".

Well in fact, there is a parallax between what it is, and what it should be. Cameras make the best comparison for this. Try to figure, but we all end up having different guesses.

We don't live to please people, we are here to be ourselves. We're here to find out never ending questions. And then, having our version of answers to such questions.

P.S.

People don't quit lolly gagging, they just find ways to make up for it. I find it nice, though.

Way past time, way past now.

Let the clock wind up, as the days continue to go. 

I see an opening where it all was. Something that written, which is lost out of nowhere.

I still believe, we can be written, well at least for the best. A memory that makes us smile of something that 

has become a part of us. I can never forget, and it will live countless times in my head no matter what i do. 

Every thought is significant, though not to everyone who takes a share of it.

Foolish, yes it will sound as it is. But, a grain of sand will remind me of the grandest scheme of things.

I shall not believe, i shall be just the way i wanna be.

It shall wish us well. I look up to everything that grows. Just as how high it can become.

I cannot imagine. 

Let me recall, i was happy then. Yet, i still choose to be happy now.

Everything, it seems like it was a turn of the card. I suppose it was not. 

We follow what we want to be. That's how it goes.

For every inch of thought that is written, jumbled words and random notes.

I will not keep this to myself, but i still do, think of you.

 

Rainy days

For these past few days, the rain has been pouring hard and it somehow left us something to think upon.

The stranded people at taft knows how cold and hard it is to cross the waters at that time.

We took the liberty of staying to a safer place where we could call home for just a few hours.

It felt like shit crossing to a safer ground, but it was worth the experience. By the time we got ourselves comfy, we ate and talked for hours about things that we can laugh ourselves about. :)

The cheese was awesome, the movie was great. Friends, you were the awesome-st people that night. :-bd

Thanks guys, we had a good one. :)

Post: If ever you get to read this.

I try to believe that everything is clear. I want to, but then no one else should try to speak before i say this.

People screw up for certain reasons. But, this. This. It is not the clearest cut of things. There are a lot of things that people don't know, yet they insist that they do. What happens if every time we go to this, and they (these people) do it again. I guess, go figure.

I want this to be okay. Even though it's all over. And if ever you do read this, try to think of as well. 

We try not to be one-sided at these unresolved problems.

I hope this does us well.

It's raining again.

The moment i woke up this morning, it was pretty hot and i have no clue when would this end. I realized that i was sweating myself so much that i've went outside the house a couple of times just to cool myself from the scorching weather. I've come to listen to this song a while ago when the ipod was playing. It was somehow relevant to what the weather has turned into. From real hot to rainy cold weather, straight jacket feeling by the All-American rejects was the one playing inside my head for that time. Somehow, when we refer to the feeling, it's something that is constricting, which you have to let it all out. I can relate to that, and i cringe whenever that happens.

Oh come on, haha.

I guess we shall carry on.

No plans

Hi, it's been a while since i blogged about anything since there are a lot of things to do right now. It's good to know that i have opened up my time for at least this moment. As i were, there's really nothing to begin with. I had a lot of plans, but it seems like only a few worked for me. This has something to do with just showing up and doing whatever i can with the situation. Here i am, still wondering what maybe the reason for all the things that are not easily paying off. Will there be anything in store for me if i become more persistent in what i do? I don't know. I want answers, may it be bits and pieces or as a whole. If i look for it, there would be a big chance that only the tip of it is seen. Haha. I think it would be better if i just move along the way, i'd find what i'm looking for.

I would take every risk, every waking opportunity just to, smile and just have fun.

My life that has no map, now has its own way of telling its direction along the way.

When it rained, it was 4.

Today, it rains and the water pours over the roof of our house. I just come to know that i have been sleeping the longest hours since the week ended. Here comes a point in my life that i just stare out of nowhere and think about anything that has occurred to me. I mean anything. I felt that my heart skipped a beat a lot of times, i don't know if they're positive or negative to begin with. The feeling is there, yet there is no confirming of what is. I speak plainly about anything, which is hard. This has drawn me to think about it a couple of times. Thoughts are recurring, it feels like something that i have forgotten for a long time suddenly comes back in a flash. Vague, yes, they are. Me and my thoughts. It contradicts how the world raised me. A mixed tape playing at its wrong side. But there is one thing that is not blur in me, that is my determination to do whatever it takes no matter what. What gives me the will to be myself is the paradox of living in a sad world, yet i get to go around smiling like nothing is there to make me feel sad.

P.S.

This log, i just wanted to do things at little steps. Everyday, we learn and grow with the notion of not knowing what comes next.

This uncertain.

Going to a direction where you don't know where you're at, but probably certain what you're gonna be having. Feelings of positive and anything that makes your heart beat.

Random blog 1

This is the time that i want to kill someone and rip and smite heads whenever i'm enclosed in a very populated area. I'll grab the throat of people and rip them with my bare hands, breaking necks like they were like twigs. I'd use barbecue sticks to poke the hell out of their eye sockets and trample them with my foot. I'd stick a knife to their gut and stab it back and forth, a hundred times over. I'd slash their hands and feet with butcher knives until i was satisfied enough to take a breath. Pause. Break their bones with my hands, breaking them like bread sticks,painfully swelling until they can't cry no more.

After all of this, i slap a smile on my face and move on...

Popcorn

Right now, I should be going to katips because its gonna be a hell of a traffic in a meanwhile. But heck, i don't want to be the first one greeting the birthday dude. Yun nga lang pahirapan na lang sa parking. Haha. Oh yeah, i was just eating popcorn a while ago that my sister cooked and shared with me. Thanks for that sister. I wonder how long will that traffic be in banaple. "Why you buy so much cakes!" :| that's one of my assumptions that cake lovers cause the biggest part of traffic in Katipunan ext., which is somehow true. I wonder what will be served first. Beer or food? Shots or desserts? Who cares? :) As long as we celebrate this awesome 21st birthday of my friend, that'd be a blast.

P.S.

Baby, I'm sorry if i wasn't able to text you today. It's hard to find sun cards today. :| I miss you. :)

I'm gonna leave in a while and look for different routes that doesn't lead to too much traffic.

Bye.

The new lazy me.

Hello everyone and yes, this is 2011. I have a lot of catching up to do with blogspot and i don't know how to  start it exactly. But yeah, here it goes.

Before january started out as a month, i already cut off some of my old habits like staying up late for facebook and too much eating. The facebook, i terminated mine permanently because there are a lot of things that i didn't like about it. I find these days of the month pretty catchy, like a box of chocolates, because you'll never know what you're gonna get. Yeah, so much for Forest Gump. I look for things right now that gives a clearer definition in what i do, ergo, i study my strengths.

Recently, i read that a lot of people have been studying about weaknesses of people. It sounds more of a psychiatric approach rather than doing it in a more subtler manner. By subtle, what i meant to say was, why don't they use an approach that studies the motivation of people. In that way, they could extract better aspects of the personality and  define it in the most positive note.

I read a couple of books, but i don't finish really them. That's how lazy i am when it comes to staring at the text for long hours. But there was one book that need not to be read entirely because it's like an info material. This book was the strengths finder 2.0. Our prof in the majors class introduced us to the text promising us that we would find a part of ourselves once we get started taking the test and reading some of the contents of the book.

After doing what he told us, i got my top 5 strengths. The thing is, there is a lot of it that i don't really get at all.

And oh, these were my strengths which was extracted after i finished the strengths test.

Top5

Harmony- i surround myself with sound and trustworthy people (It doesn't ring a bell)
Adaptability- i let the future unravel at its own pace
Command- it says that i'm aware of the way things really are
Restorative- I search opportunities to improve myself (That's one of my new year's resolution)
Communicative- "Gaining and maintaining people's attention pleases you" (A little bit)


I somehow only relate to 1 or 2 of my strengths, the rest is yet unseen. The test clearly told us that it wasn't by default that they have ready-made suggestions, just like in most psychology tests. The results here simply defines on how you react on the questions, without thinking too much about it. I guess it's pretty much about intuition. These things, as what my prof/mentor told me, "it doesn't manifest that easily unless you find a way to see these things in you". Umm, yeah. One thing i know about myself is that i'm extremely shy. I'm not used to confront people i don't know or i might know in this daily basis. I find it pretty ironic because here i am, enrolled in the Entrepreneurship program. People like entrepreneurs are one of the most sociable animals in the book and people write stories and books about them. Ugh. I see that it's gonna be tough for me as i become one in the near future. But here is the real deal. What really defines me is my ability to adapt in the most MFcuk-ing situations. I get beaten down, i stand up, and do what i have to do. I think that's what i love doing. Most people are in the process of finding out what they love to do. It's a very rigorous one, but its worth to wake up everyday doing what one loves to do. As an aspiring entrepreneur, I'm doing the way that isn't just written by books, but also on how i react into things and get them done.

The thing about life right now, i love it. It just keeps on getting better and better. And it's pretty weird in my position to say that because as a matter of fact, this trimester is one of the hardest and one of the most unpredictable. It's not that my subjects are unimaginable to deal with, but it's really a box of assorted chocolates. (Forest!)

I say to my girlfriend that i sometimes feel lost ( i don't know why) and feel so much better after i get to hold her hand and do some cheesecake stuff.

I love how things roll, simply unpredictable. :)

Smiles (c) 2010